Either love... or stockholme syndrome.

I've been not blogging for a while, basically because I'm not had any motivation to really finish anything. I say finish as apposed to starting anything because well I've started writing stuff but not been abkle to finish it. Also my internet connection at my place is awesomly bad, so I don't really use the internet at home.

Basically it got warm, about 2 days before Andy and I were due to head out to Scotland. By warm I don't mean lovely hot, summer in the middle of winter warm and therefore we could go rock climbing in Scotland instead, but warm enough to strip all the snow off scotland and they rain for about a week. Instead we didn't go. Andy and I kept pushing the leaving date back, I guess both knowing how it was going to turn out in the end but not wanting to admit it to ourselves.

I couldn't believe how angry I was at the weather and how desperate I was to get out winter climbing. I even looked up flights to Chamonix, Ecrins and almost Norway. After a day of stressing about the whole thing I ended up questioning my motivation for winter climbing and therefore climbing in general. Why was I will to put alot of my life on hold on the off chance that there'll be cold weather and decent winter conditions. The same is true in summer as I'm always waiting for the perfect weather of the summer months to get out and trad climb. Don't even get me started on the spring and autumn season. They seem to be characterised by wet weather, failed days out, boudlering in the damp and sitting around in the car waiting for the weather to clear. 

I also end up getting to the middle of winter and pineing for climbing ascorss sunkissed grit in the late evening or an early start to a sea-cliff climbing trip at Gogarth, abseiling in with the waves crashing gently beneath me. Conversely by the middle of summer, I'll be hangin out on a belay at Gogarth and I'll find myself missing the cold of winter climbing, or being wrapped up against the elements and battling on throw a storm just to get off the climb.

In the end I came to some conclusions. I'm not going to give up any of what I do climbing. I've been doing it for so long that I don't know what else to do. I still have that childish feeling of adventure when I plan to head out. I've decided to make the most of any planned day out. Whether is means sitting it out under a rock, waiting for the rain to stop before getting a route in, or just righting off a weekend and climbing indoor and spending more time with my friends and family. I'm going to put more effort into getting more out of other peoples climbing rather than my own, in a effort to become a much less selfish climber. I'm also not going to get hung up on the weather, as I guess everything happens for a reason.

I guess that list doesn't really seem like much. It probably seems more like a reassertion of my normal goals in relation to climbing but it's not. I'd like to be happier with what I can get done in the time I've got, rather than obsession about what I could have got done in the time I don't have, if that makes any sense.

I did however get about 3 good days climbing out of my christmas holiday. I had an amazing christmas with my family and Rachel. We stayed at my parent house for a couple of day over christmas and boxing day, till we got homesick (which happens worryingly quickly) and Rachel also had work. I managed to explode one coffee percolator, which was very annoying as I'd gotten used to having fresh coffee in the morning. I also managed to mess up compleltely over the new year when Rachel and I, with a couple of other friends went to wales for New Years Eve, on a weather report which was a lie. I say I messed up because I forgot to put in Rachel's Wellington Boots and her waterproof. New Years Eve itself was alright. We played Dominos in the pub for a while before, having had too much to drink we headed off. We didn't get much sleep as the wind and rain hammered down all night. James's tent actually got destroyed but he stuck it out and made it through the night. 

I guess I never actually got round to finishing this update off either...